Ever since I was hit I've been striving to be "normal". I was SO excited when I finally reached the point where I wasn't limping any longer so that no one would ask me what was wrong, or what happened to my leg, etc.
That being said, all throughout my recovery I've been focusing so much on the physical aspects of my recovery-in my mind running again was all that mattered. It's all that has mattered. But other aspects have started creeping up on me, things I never thought I would have to prepare myself for.
I still don't remember much about the details of the accident. But apparently some part of me does (or at least that's what my therapist says) because I've been experiencing some unexpected side effects.
Panic Attacks. I didn't know they even existed before my accident, now I'm having one every week or so. I have them in the middle of the night, in the shower, while I'm folding laundry, etc. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder and jumping at every little sound. I can't take a shower or watch t.v. downstairs unless Mojo is home with me. It's bad guys, really bad.
I've been meeting with my therapist on a regular basis and a lot of people have told me I should start a drug therapy of some kind. Here's the thing, I hate drugs. I really hate them. I spent 4 months on a regime of 60+ drugs a day. They wrecked havoc on my body.
So drug therapy is out, and honestly my therapist didn't even recommend it. She knows I would immediately say no. So we've been living with this day to day and it's starting to get really annoying, to say the least.
I've been getting emails and comments from so many readers asking for updates on my recovery. Honestly-I've wanted to write this post for a few months now, but I just haven't really known what to say. I've never really struggled with any kind of mental anything. I'm fumbling around in the dark with this and haven't really known what to do. So, when people ask how my recovery is going I say it's great. I'm walking again and slowly working to being able to run again-and I just don't mention this other-not so glamourous part of my recovery.
In a couple of weeks my therapist and I will be starting a few exercises to help me slowly start and relive the day of my accident. I know it will help, I really do, but I'm not really looking forward to it.
For more information on the accident as well as updates check my Road to Recovery Page